The Doom Machine (1/14): Suns Saga

It's a Knicks versus Suns regular season game in MSG. A strangely warm January day in New York has already caught me off guard once with a wardrobe malfunction creating a mid-June simulation within my jacket. I am no match for nature, who incidentally has no feminist leanings that would make it proud to be called Mother Nature. Remember, the Knicks are playing the Suns; the plural of the most powerful celestial body in our sky. This is bigger than the Knicks.

But it never really is. With Phoenix' Morris (one of the twins) being ejected in the first quarter after a second technical foul, coach Woodson gets to pick who shoots Morris' free throws.

Slava hits one of two and the game, now a sure moral victory, continues with a tension that gently flows throughout MSG. "Anything is possible," wrote Jean Paul Sartre in Nausea, a book about existential funktitude. Maybe I made the tension bit up, but the exercising of this strange rule turned an otherwise routine mid season game into a trial against reality. Who knew that this rule even existed?

Goran Dragic hit a shot with time expiring in the first half and proceeded to walk over to Pablo Prigioni. Why, of course. They exchanged some foreign politeness and made it clear they were co-conspirators in an international scheme to do away with American competitiveness. Prigioni in his peanut butter colored suit banging away at the foundation laid by our forefathers. Goran Dragic: you need no further explanation as to his affiliations.

Fortunately, we were sucked back onto our plane by Raymond Felton & Co. By Co. I mean Felton's specific genre of defense. Things became normal. I sprayed myself in the eye with the liquids of a clementine I was peeling, temporarily blinding me. The temperature dropped drastically while I stomped around in a profanity laced dance. My boiler, wildly confused, had a stroke so every inhabitant of my home was forced to make a lifestyle change. Culture shock: we are Inuits.

Also, the Suns mounted a comeback that forced overtime. Carmelo Anthony took selfish shots, the likes of which would make 19th century industrialists proud. The Knicks won extending their winning streak to five and are somehow on track to make the playoffs. 

- Alex Moran(@MoonbeanMarcos)