The ex-Knick, a title 42% of the American male population holds, is on his way to the Miami Heat for championship contention, comradeship and allegiance to all things un-Knicks. But first, he must ascend to the top of Trending Topics mountain:
Done. Now to decode the rest.
A man by the name of Ben Scrivens has been traded from one hockey team to another. He is a goalie and he does not care about what you think of hockey. Much like Toney Douglas, Scrivens is known to a small sample of people that mostly spend their time trolling the interwebs in the form of sports commentary. Yes, even your insightful analysis is considered trolling, or, at the very least, trollmongering. (The conscious attraction of trolls. Also known as "trollbaiting.")
Not to be outdone by people gifted with ability, Justin Bieber related things take the #3 spot on trending topics geared towards me...I'm waiting for an explanation myself. This dancing jester is an all pervasive phenomenon. My trending topics must expel thee.
May I reveal now that I am over my head? I have no interest in finding out what the rest of these topics allude to. I know who Joel Anthony is and there is too large of a possibility that whatever he is involved in does not matter. He was traded? What am I having for dinner? Is The Ultimate Thirst a documentary about North African camels that resemble Brett Favre? Ask Brett Favre. If he is insulted speak of the good wife on a fan forum while listening to knock off bands...
Espanyol is a soccer team that plays in the 1st division over in Spain. I speak Spanish fluently and I can't tell you what this means:
Upon further review, because I was too intrigued and could not help myself, I found out that Espanyol defeated Alcorcon and that I don't know how to type o's with accent marks on them.
The internet thinks it knows me. Think again, digital overlords.
- Alex Moran (@MoonbeanMarcos)
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