Okay, the government shutdown was scary for a whole five days. Questions like "What's gonna happen?" and "What does this even mean?" were asked by the majority of people that actually didn't know what this ordeal was all about. Sometime around day six we came to the conclusion that it didn't matter and we would go about our lives as we usually do. The mall was still open, the internet was just fine, we could shower thanks to running water (but maybe chose not to), and a nice string of movies with attractive trailers were out in theaters. Nothing changed. Nothing that the average person cares about anyway.
Our international reputation with foreign creditors may be tarnished but I'm just trying to have a cold alcoholic beverage when I lay on a beach far from home. These people that the government borrow money from are ghosts that now haunt the hallways of the American collective consciousness. But I've watched too many horror films to be worried about the monstrous Chinese creditor the government owes unimaginable amounts of money to. The good guy always wins in these scenarios and we're the good guy, right? Right?
Politicians are the last people anyone should go to for a straight answer. That's one thing we should all have learned from this most annoying experience. Another thing we have learned is that the kid in the back of the class asking us to pay attention to things like the government shutdown as opposed to pop culture happenings (see: Miley Cyrus) has been thoroughly crushed. Everyone gets on with their lives nowadays, and entertainment is a much larger part of people's lives than ever before. It's definitely much more important to people than what Old White Guy decides he's going to do with the government. Can you blame them?
Going back to straight answers, I'll address fantasy football. Like the government, fantasy football is a collection of wasted time with unreliable people. No one can tell you what to actually expect from your team this week, just like no one could explain what this shutdown meant to the public. Look, in fantasy basketball there's a player you can have on your team who goes by the name of LeBron James. Is LeBron James better than Jared Dudley? Yes. Will there be a week when Jared Dudley outperforms LeBron James if James is healthy? No. Try using logic in fantasy football and find yourself actually engaging in a conversation about it without ever reaching an answer. Any given week your best player can be out-dueled by Undrafted Guy Off The Waivers. If you like gambling this is your thing. If you like talking about gambling...Wasted time and unreliable people.
Basketball is eleven days away and I would like nothing more than watching players I draft into an imaginary team play not once, not twice, but three to four times a week. Flukes at a minimum and getting a good idea of what to expect from whom? I welcome this with open arms, something I can't say about that other fantasy sport. Oh, and the government has resumed its day to day operations.
Note to the reader: Don't make more of a flip of a coin than what it actually is. Calm thyself and do not let the testosterone rage that once conquered the savanna show its ugly face in 2013.
- Alex Moran (@MoonbeanMarcos)
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