With the NHL's season (and existence) in jeopardy one has to wonder what can be done to help hockey fans out. Having done nothing to deserve this, except love a sport with a relatively small fan base, it's time these faithful few defend themselves against the system that threatens to do destroy their favorite pastime.
Fortunately, I have come up with a wonderful plan that is definitely not thought out well enough. But hey, I don't hear anyone coming up with anything innovative or exciting anywhere else so let's give my idea a shot.
Some apologies first: I'm sorry to all mindless consumers that wander the Earth unconsciously clamoring for the best advertised products. I'm sorry to the children of the very wealthy people this may offend. I'm also sorry to everyone that has devoted their entire life to the idea that this competitive market system will always fix itself, thus implying that the NHL is just not as good as other leagues.
Now that I have successfully repelled 99% of humanity here is my plan in a step by step fashion:
1. Strip team owners of all ownership rights.
2. Sell those rights in the form of shares to the public barring investors. Only citizens of the city from which the team hails can purchase shares. Place a cap on how many shares each fan can buy.
3. Assign voting locations which are adequate in size and conveniently located.
4. Create team committees where share owners voice their opinions through representatives. The election of representatives should be done through a vote, thus explaining the assignment of voting locations. All representative campaigning is to be done online without the use of financial resources. (emails, forums, twitter, etc.) Campaign teams can be created but no member of the campaign team is to be awarded any form of compensation for their work.
5. Set a strictly enforced salary cap. The salary of the team with the lowest budget will be the equivalent of the salary cap.
6. Excess funds are to be collected by the NHL and allotted to the creation of U.S. based manufacturers of gear (skates and stuff) and the hiring of referees.
7. Every team must create a treasury whose main purposes are to make public the financial situation of the team and propose budgets. Budgets are voted on by shareholder representatives. These treasuries also collect and distribute profits from merchandise sales, tickets, shareholder payments, etc. Payment of players and staff are made by the treasury as well.
8. The acquisition of players and coaches is voted on by shareholders after agents propose a salary. League-wide player and coach acquisition voting takes place on a designated day.
9. Player salaries can be sold by teams wishing to make cap space. These player salaries can only be purchased by teams with enough cap space.
10. Have fun.
- Alex Moran
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